I know, it's a little controversial but be honest, how many articles have you read about toxic relationships?

Maybe you were just curious to understand more about the signals to beware, before running into people that can hurt you or maybe you were actually conscious of living one.

Nowadays, it’s kind of a popular topic simply because we have realized that almost everyone has experienced bad feelings when DEALING WITH PEOPLE, at least once in a lifetime. In fact, “relationship” literally means “the way in which two or more people or things are connected”.

A connection doesn’t start always naturally and have to be built with a constant work by BOTH PARTS. Just think about your colleagues, your relatives. You haven’t chosen them to be part of your life so you can’t deal with them without considering a little effort for being polite, empathetic and caring.

When you feel you’re EQUALLY CORRESPONDED, maintaining a positive behavior become easier and easier and have a beneficial effect in strengthening the relationship. You feel happy, understood, free to show your real strengths and weaknesses.

But…when is not?

You find yourself experiencing a deep SENSE OF DISCOMFORT. It could happen you don’t feel free to express your opinion in fear of disappointing them or you feel guilty for not being capable of understand their hidden feelings.

You strive to be listened or, if they do, it seems everything you say is badly interpreted or misunderstood.

Often, you could even feel MANIPULATED. This happen because you are facing someone that is unable to handle a fight, so they get defensive and use your same words to attack you.

One only hour in the company of that particular person, even virtually, consume all of your MENTAL ENERGIES and makes you feel like you’re trapped in your own life.

This doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re dealing with bad people. Sometimes it means that you both simply don’t share the same vision or lifestyle.

In the context of love relationship is even more complicated because (let’s say it) no one wants to be wrong! Admitting ourselves to have made the wrong choice is one of the most difficult things ever. So, we struggle for months, years, hoping that our efforts will worth and people will change thanks to us but I tell you a secret…it won’t happen.

But hey, good news.

It’s not so hard to take control of the situation, even when you feel disarmed and overwhelmed. Try to follow these 3 fundamental steps:

• Value your emotions

Stop questioning yourself and accept that people are different and have different needs. Including you.

Don’t blame yourself if their values don’t correspond to yours, there’s nothing you can do about it. Don’t be afraid to talk with them and share your vision.

If you don’t get the result you want, starting to be conscious of the power of self and set boundaries when needed, can help you take distances from people who wants to shape you and your world in their image.

• Allow some self-time thinking

You are not asked to take decisions immediately. Breath. Be firm and communicate them you need some time alone, with no contacts. Normally, most of the closest relationships just need to be re-balanced.

Once your brain is focused and clear, the solution will come to mind very easily.

• Surround yourself with positiveness

You need to remind yourself what it “feeling well”. So, DO THINGS!

Book a dinner out in that new Thai restaurant, sign up for that aerial yoga course, re-watch for the 20^th time your favorite movie, call that friend who lives in Marbella and plan a weekend together. In short, make sure you remember what “happiness” really means. Insecurity, routine and boredom makes you involve with people with an offset perception.

Contrary to what some people have been saying we believe that toxic relationships are fundamental in order to understand what you DON’T WANT in your life, in a deeper level. This will help you choose wisely who you want sharing your days with.

In fact, after getting out from one of it, you find yourself completely changed, energized and ready for the next step. And this is the most powerful push for you to start living your best life.

If you’ve found this article useful and you (or a friend) have lived the same experience we would be more than happy to receive your opinion. And don’t forget to share it with the tag #evahisme !